Wild Things Part 1
Monster of the Week: EP11
Welcome to the latest installment of Monster of the Week, a Sci-Fi/Fantasy serial where we follow Scrub, Scratch, and Maria, Bounty Hunters traveling the galaxy and ridding it of terrifying beasts. If this is your first time, you can click the links below to start from the beginning, or the directory will take you to a list of my other fiction.
Last time, on Monster of the Week: Scratch and Maria are enlisted to help Gabriella, the Pirate Queen, to take down Mr. Morgan Moody, the one behind the creation of all the monsters the crew has encountered. But Scrub was unwilling to help, instead slipping off in the night…
Happy Hunting!
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Although they lack a true brain, Cnidarian Jellyfish have a “ring” nervous system that plays a significant role in motor and sensory activity. This net of nerves is responsible for muscle contraction and movement and culminates the emergence of photosensitive structures. Brad was no different. His lack of a brain actually made him quiet adept at the challenges faced by most TSA agents – namely a monotonous, unfulfilling workload. No matter what, Brad kept a cheerful attitude and a steady stream of conversation, saying whatever popped through his sensory ring at the time. He was always so curious about the travelers that passed through his gate and felt a special affinity towards the Collectors that he met.
“You look like a Collector, am I right? Are you here for business, or pleasure?” He asked Scrub as he approached the gate.
“Oh, see. You have to be a Collector. Let me guess, this is legally a letter opener, right? You have the proper documents? Perfect!”
Without a single breath between questions and statements, Brad didn’t notice the man’s distant gaze.
“I bet you’re heading somewhere real exotic, aren’t you? Somewhere fun. The last Collector to pass through here was going back to see family. They mentioned that people in your line of work don’t get to do that too much. I think it’s a good reminder, don’t you? I think everyone should take time to be with their loved ones. You never know when you’ll see them again. So where are you fro- Hey, where are you going?”
The man had suddenly grabbed all his things and ran back the way he came – pushing and shoving the wrong way through an angry crowd.
Scratch was having a lightning fast conversation in his head as Mr. Moody called down to his secretary to bring restraints. Not arguing with himself, but rather discussing options with Robo-berto silently through his neural implant.
:The micro-disc implant you installed should be compatible with the computer interface next to you. If you could remove it and insert it without drawing attention to yourself, then I should be able to insert myself into the files and gain access to the information we’re after.:
:Brilliant plan, Beto. Only one problem. How in the world am I supposed to do all that without this psycho turning me to dust?:
:I don’t have the data to assist with that at this time:
Scratch rolled his eyes before trying to make eye contact with Maria. Unfortunately, she was too busy glowering at their captor to notice. There was a knock at the door as the secretary entered carrying two pairs of mag-lock restraints. Mr. Moody began yelling at her that he obviously needed three.
“Yes there is only two of them but use your eyes! Count the arms. You can count, can’t you?”
:I think I have my distraction. Removing you now. Be ready soon.:
With that, Scratch slowly moved a top paw that he was holding behind his head. He reached the port behind his left ear and removed the micro-disc holding the direct link to Robo-berto.
“No, leave these two! Just go get me another. Quickly!”
Scratch had shifted less than a meter away from the desk originally, but he only made it about a quarter of the way back before the secretary rushed back out of the room and the man in the round sunglasses turned his attention back to them.
“Put these on,” He said, dropping one pair of the restraints in front of both of them. “Behind your back. No funny business.”
Maria finally looked over to Scratch for guidance. He gave her a nod to comply while also trying to use his eyes to convey the plan and that maybe she could distract him for a few more moments. The subtle signal was lost on her and the two of them both slowly reached down to grab the restraints.
“So what, you’re going to turn us into monsters, too?” Scratch asked, desperate to distract him again. “You’ll never get away with this.”
“Oh, my dear kitty,” The man smiled. “I already have.”
“Ugh, could you be any more of an evil cliché?” Maria mumbled as the restraints locked around her wrists behind her back. “I swear, if there’s a giant tank full of sharks I’m gonna...”
“Come on, this guy’s obviously too dumb for sharks,” Scratch said a little too loudly as he fastened the restraints on his lower arms. He was about to strafe closer to the desk again, but now the man was staring directly at Scratch, his facial expression blank behind those stupid glasses.
“I don’t know, I think he’s just dumb enough for sharks. Like, obviously a man of real sophistication would be able to see when enough is enough. I think if he has sharks, that’s proof he is dumb,” Maria added as she was beginning to catch on that maybe Scratch had a plan. The man looked back to her and Scratch risked another quick shuffle. He could almost reach the computer. Just one more step…
There was another knock on the door and the secretary reappeared with the final restraint. Scratch panicked as all eyes were now on him.
“Restrain him, Sara. And then clear my schedule for the rest of the day. This will be taking my full attention,” he said dryly. “Kitty-cat, come here.”
Scratch closed his eyes and considered his options. He could probably get the micro-disc inserted before he got vaporized, but there was a good chance that the man would fire at Maria first. That wasn’t a risk he was willing to take. Hopefully there would be another chance wherever they were headed. Instead, he palmed the disc and did as he was told.
“Good kitty-cat. Now, both of you come here.” The man said once Sara had done her job. He grabbed them roughly by the shoulders and they all turned towards the door.
As Sara turned to leave, she was run over by a man nearly twice her height.
“Scrub!” Maria shouted.
Scratch let go of the disc as the room – and Scrub – were was no longer in front of him.
Scrub, being fashionably late to the mission, decided that things like ‘tact’ and ‘grace’ were not going to do him any good. After a quick scan of the Beaker Grumman lobby he casually pushed his way passed all the waiting customers and hopped over the desk.
Security wasn’t too happy with his decision, but by the time they started moving from shouting to actually getting out of their chairs he was already at the elevator. One of the guards – a young looking alien with gorilla-sized arms that hung down to his knees – caught up to him and slid into the closing elevator door just in time.
“You can’t be in here,” the guard announced, to the surprise of no one.
“Are you sure?” Scrub asked as he pressed the button for the top floor. “If that was the case, wouldn’t one of your supervisors have stopped me?”
“We were all yelling at you to stop,” The young man responded as doubt began to cloud his stern expression.
“Oh, well. This is embarrassing. I didn’t hear you guys. Are you sure it was me they were yelling at and not someone else? I definitely heard them say something about criminal behavior.” Scrub said. He resisted a smile.
“Well, yeah. Jumping the desk without authorization is a crime. This is a restricted area,” the guard said. The two of them stared at each other.
“Okay, well. I have an appointment with Morgan. You know – tall, dark, douchey type? Mysterious. Likes to jump out and stab people? You don’t know him? Well, he practically owns you. So if you don’t let me see him then you might be the next guy to get stabbed, if you catch my drift.”
The guard definitely did not catch Scrub’s drift. He opened his mouth, hoping that the words would magically come out to diffuse the situation and lead to Scrub coming back downstairs with him. He had been late for the third time this morning and he had really hoped apprehending this criminal would get him back in good graces with his boss.
But no words came out. Instead, a ding rang from the elevator as the doors opened. Scrub gently patted the guard on the shoulder as he squeezed by – pressing the ‘first floor’ and ‘close doors’ buttons as he did.
“Don’t worry, champ. You got good reflexes. I’m sure you’ll get the next guy. Keep up the good work.”
As the guard traveled back down he felt a mixture of pride and guilt fighting inside him but couldn’t quite figure out why until he finally reached the ground floor again.
Meanwhile, Scrub ran straight back to the only office on the floor. The door was opening and he shoulder-checked Sara.
“Scru-” Maria’s voice cut out unnaturally as she, Scratch and their captor suddenly blinked out of existence. The only consolation Scrub had was the look of anger and confusion that flashed on the man’s face just before they disappeared.
“Where are they!” Scrub demanded of the woman now prone in front of him. The only response she gave was inconsolable wailing. Scrub paused for a second in case either guards came to help the poor woman or Morgan returned to finish the job. When it was clear neither was going to happen, he scanned the room. There was something metallic on the expensive rug where Scratch had been standing.
Scrub stepped over the woman who scrambled up and crawled out of the door. He leaned down to pick up a micro-disc – one of Scratch’s modification. He quickly moved to the computer and plugged it in.
Download complete, Senior Scratch. Scanning for the data now. Robo-berto’s voice came through the computer speaker as a progress bar popped up on the screen.
“Sorry to disappoint you, buddy. But Scratch isn’t here any more. It’s just me. For now, at least.” Scrub said. “I don’t know what they have you doing, but if you could point me in the direction of where they might have dipped off to, that would be great.”
There is additional data on the teleportation abilities. Analyzing the data now. Robo-berto responded. In the meantime, I believe the device Scratch was sent to find is here. Opening the secret compartment to your left.
Scrub looked in that direction to find a section of wall-mounted bookshelf gently swinging open. Inside, he found what looked to be a plain, steel watch.
“Does this come with instructions?” Scrub asked over his shoulder.
Maria felt discombobulated at the suddenness of the teleportation. All her senses were scrambling to process the sudden shift in stimuli. But more importantly, she was pissed off.
I’ll be damned if I spend another minute as a damsel in distress to this basic ass –
An explosion rattled the ground. Their captor paused, clearly not expecting trouble wherever they were now. Good, Maria thought. We must be in one of the strongholds Gabby’s attacking.
While Mr. Moody was still lost in thought, Maria lashed out – headbutting the man square in his forehead. She kicked the gun out of his hand as he reeled from the strike. He unleashed a slur of profanity that cut out mid-word as he disappeared again. His gun clattered loudly on the ground.
“Good work,” Scratch said. “But we have to find a way outta here and get these handcuffs off before he comes back.”
Maria was already sliding up to a nearby door. She peeked out into the hallway. It was nearly identical to the bare-bones secret lab on the moon base. She prayed it lacked the horde of zombies that filled the last one.
“Yeah, let’s move.” They crept down the hall, staying low and trying to minimize noise as much as possible. The sound of boots thundered down the hallway, but slowly got quieter as the feet filling the boots led them towards the source of the explosion – or at least she hoped.
“Furry One to Gold Leader, come in Gold Leader.” Scratch whispered into his comm link behind Maria.
“Here for Gold Leader. Did you get the package?”
“Uh, not exactly. Actually, we made a slight detour. It looks like we’re in one of the bases you’re attacking right now.”
“What?!? Furry Two, can you confirm?”
“Okay, first off I told you I wasn’t going to answer to that stupid call sign. Second, yeah. We definitely aren’t in the same building we were five minutes ago. Your bestie came in, caught us, and teleported us somewhere. We heard an explosion a few minutes ago. Can you-”
Maria led Scratch further down the hallway and tried the nearest door. It opened with a whoosh and she couldn’t believe what she saw. There were rows and rows of giant glass tubes. Each one growing an identical woman – each row at different stages of development.
“Jenny? The TSA Agent?” Scratch said, from behind Maria.
“What?” Gabby asked through the comm link.
“Look, we don’t have time to unpack this. Scratch, let’s keep moving. Gabby, where are we?”
Gabby made a lot of noises on the other end of the radio as Maria and Scratch continued down the hallway, but she didn’t give a solid replies.
“I wish Scrub was here,” Scratch said wistfully.
“Yeah, wouldn’t it be really cool if he just magically showed up and saved you just in the nick of time?” Scrub agreed from behind them. Both Scratch and Maria turned around to find their companion with an unwieldy look of smug satisfaction staring back at them. Scratch ran up and gave him a big hug, while Maria playfully punched him on the shoulder.
“How’d you get here so fast?” She asked in disbelief.
“Beto helped me with this,” Scrub said, pointing to a nondescript watch on his arm. “It’s the prototype of the teleportation tech. It won’t exactly stop him from teleporting but we have it tuned in to his location, so he can’t get away from me. Check this out.”
Without warning, Scrub disappeared from in front of them. Maria looked around frantically until she found him – 10 meters down the hall, staring slack-jawed at something she couldn’t see around the corner. Maria and Scratch jogged over to him.
“That’s awesome! Now we got this guy on the-” Maria’s train of thought completely derailed as she looked over to where Scrub was staring. The hallway opened up to what looked like an aircraft hangar. But instead of ships, the vast opening housed a sea of monsters.
Rows of stone golems next to a cluster of angry porcupine monsters. Werewolf soldiers with guns - some of them riding teleporting panthers - kept guard of cages full of zombies. And harpies and sirens flew erratically overhead. The sounds of chaotic fighting could be heard echoing from just outside the hangar – which was open to the outside on the other end. Maria could barely make out pirate ships as they zipped back and forth behind the wall of monsters in front of –
“Wait, is that a fucking dragon?!?” She asked.
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I’m going to need an epic battle scene with an 80s pop song playing in the background, please and thank you.
I KNEW something was up with Jenny!!
I too am really looking forward to this battle. :D